The Ugly, Painful Side of Cycling
Don't get me wrong. I love cycling to a near irrational extent. I've been known to ride my mountain bike to an neighbouring city and back, my legs logging in 80 km or more a day for up to five days a week until I'm seriously overtrained. Whee!
So why am I dumping on cycling, when gasoline prices have never been higher and city smog ever so caustic?
I can only explain it as ironic. All my wheel-spinning and soaking up sunshine has manifested a dark side to hardcore riding, and I've learned some hard truths. They are:
Warning: Salty Language
In an afternoon of summertime riding, you will likely discharge upwards of 12 grams of sodium in your perspiration, resulting in vicious muscle cramps and extreme fatigue.
Here's a visual check for you to try: Go look at your dirty laundry (but avoid inhaling through the nostrils ;-) If your workout threads have white salt stain streaks on them, congratulations - you're a salty sweater. Be sure to nosh on some salty snacks before an afternoon of hammering on the pedals.
Heart Breaker
Insufficient fluid intake will force your heart to work harder in delivering precious oxygen to toiling muscles. The reason for this is because the water for perspiration (to cool down the skin and prevent you from baking like an apple turnover) will have to come from somewhere, so it's drawn from the bloodstream, thereby lowering your blood volume and raising your heart rate.
So I guess this is my way of saying Be careful when riding on hot days, and make sure you've got plenty of fluids on hand.
FYI, insufficient is defined as anything less than eight fluid ounces per hour.
Take a Stand
Your bike seat could be causing you more damage than you can imagine. The first and most feared problem is numbness in the nether regions, which ultimately can cause the Erectile Dysfunction/Infertility Duo of Self-Demoralization.
Then there is the knee pain and maximum soreness of the gluteus maximus combo of uncomfortableness. If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, see a doctor and either try moving your seat up, or invest in a anatomic relief bicycle saddle.
Bad News For Cycling Psychos
You will not get "cut" or "buff" by bicycling alone.
While all that leg pumping and cardiovascular exercise will do you a world (and the world's environment) good, it's not the ultimate answer to getting in shape. The reason for this is because you're body is so very smart, and it can acclimatize itself to specific exercises when done over and over.
For example, the first week of hard cycling will shed flab fast, but with every subsequent week, you'll derive less and less benefits. It's because your body is getting wise to the workload and will make physiological adjustments accordingly.
The fix? Mix it up with resistance training one day, cycling the next, while running intermittently as well.
Happy Cycling!
P.S. This post was written in part and edited on my iPhone. If it looks like I was high on glue when I posted this, that's my excuse - and I'm sticking with it ;)
P.S.S. I'm at work on the new revised Zero to Superhero book. If you'd like to be the first to know when it's released, please get on the e-mailing list. BTW, early subscribers get free schwag!
A Terrifyingly Good Reason to Chew Your Food Slowly
If you have the habit of inhaling food up your left nostril instead of chewing and savouring every morsel, Chuck Palahniuk offers a solution in his novel Rant: An Oral History of Buster Casey.
In the story, Irene Casey, mother and church potluck celebrity recalls how she trained her two boys Chet and Buddy to eat slowly. You see, they used to be classic "inhalers", wolfing down her laboriously-prepared cakes and casseroles without tasting, or even thinking about the meal. That was until she started "accidentally" leaving cherry pits in the peach cobbler or sharp shards of walnut shell in her famous apple brown cake.For fear of breaking their jaws or shredding the inside of their mouths to bloody ribbons, the two boys quickly learned to consciously chew slower. From the book:
"When you ate her tuna casserole, you didn't flip through a National Geographic. Your eyes and ears stayed inside your mouth. Your whole world kept inside your mouth, feeling and careful for the little balled-up tinfoils Irene Casey would hide in the tuna parts.A side effect of eating slow was, you naturally, genuinely tasted, and the food tasted better."
I'm not advocating inserting foreign objects or inedible items into food (come on now). I'm trying to underscore the importance of chewing food cautiously and slowly.
It's better for digestion; it helps you feel fuller, faster, and because there are no taste buds in your nasal cavities.
The Simple, Easy 26.2 Marathon Training Program
Running a marathon starts with a single step - assuming these steps are made with a good pair of running shoes and a medical practitioner’s blessing. Here is a marathon training plan I designed for myself, that perhaps you could find use for as well. For this reason I've written the Simple, Easy 26.2 Marathon Training Program in the second-person narrative.
Keep in mind I am not a certified running coach and don't play one on television either. I have formal training in fitness theory and personal training, but haven't yet run a 26.2 marathon (although I did run the distance once in non competition).
I'm a lifehacker who creates simple-to-follow systems because it's what I do. Nuff said.
First thing first: determine your foot type so you can choose the right running shoe for you. This video will show you how:
WEEK ONE:
Run for 5 Minutes, 5 Days a Week. Take 2 Days Rest
To start training for a marathon, you start with baby steps.
On the first week of training, you only need to commit five measly minutes to running. The distance will be very short (unless you are out of shape).
If you run over five minutes, awesome (you may already be a decent runner), but you're only expected to run for five minutes Monday to Friday, to get this plan started proper. Take the Saturday and Sunday off.
Mega Ultra Important Rule #1: If you exceed the minutes one day, the excess minutes cannot be carried over to the next day.
WEEK TWO:
Run 10 Minutes for 5 Days. Take 2 Days Rest
Week two, bump up your running to 10 minute sessions a day.
Like five minutes the week before, 10 minutes a day is short enough that anyone can do it, no matter what physical shape you're in. Again, run Monday to Friday and take the weekends off. You can swap a day of the week for Saturday, if it suits you better, but leave Sunday as your off day. Having one carved-in-stone day of rest will be comforting to you psychologically as well as physically when you start logging the mega-miles.
Consider yourself in good shape if you can cover a mile in 10 minutes.
Mega Ultra Important Rule #2: Run at a comfortable pace. Walk if you must. If you're new to running, don't run as fast or as far as you think you can. Consistency is far more important at this stage of the game.
WEEK THREE:
Run 15 Minutes for 5 Days. Rest 2 Days
On week three, your training notches up to 15 minutes per day, for 5 days a week. It's still not the kind of vigorous exercise people should be getting every day, but we're gradually and gently conditioning tendons and muscles. If your muscles feel hella sore, or you feel unwell, stay home and stretch. Just be sure to adhere to the following rule...
Mega Ultra Important Rule #3: Run/trot/walk at least three times a week. Remember Newton's first law of motion? An object at rest tends to stay at rest and an object in motion tends to stay in motion. This applies to ourselves and the dedication we have to our training. More often you train, more likely you are to continue.
WEEK FOUR TO WEEK TWELVE:
Run for 20 Minutes, 5 Days a Week. Take 2 Days Rest
Twenty minutes training is the generally accepted minimum amount of sustained exercise one needs to do to accrue any real health benefits. Five days of training in a week is the generally accepted maximum (any more might lead to over-training).
Train within these parameters for the next eight weeks (taking an extra day off when you need to and using common sense at all times) and you’ll be ready for phase two, which will be posted two months from now.
Be safe and have fun!
Beware White Bread
Interesting story, this.
My friend Gordon was telling me about the time he visited a flour mill.
He watched as they prepared the flour for white bread, and what he saw blew his mind (and turned him off white bread forever). They poured bleach into the flour, the same kind of bleach Moon Knight would use to wash his spandex leotards!
At first, I doubted his story. I mean, there's no way they would actually use chemical bleach to whiten the flour, would they?
After doing some research, it turns out it's true. Chlorine, chloride, oxide of nitrogen, nitrosyl and benzoyl peroxide mixed with a medley of chemical salts are mainstay ingredients in your loaf of Wonder Bread.
So that's what they mean when they call it "enriched" flour.
